I don't have the guts to open the door

Salam brothers & sisters,

It's not that no one has knocked the door.It's just me.I have some kind of fear to lift it open.I have bad EXPERIENCES before that i prefer not to describe.It's like,kalau ada yang datang,i've already set in in mind after this,mesti ada yang tak kena.MESTI!Kesian to those who tried,i sometimes perli-perli pun ada.I know it's not good and i myself don't have a clue why i did that.Maybe,i'm trying so hard to protect myself.Macam sotong,kalau ada yang nak kacau,dia akan spray ink dia and musuh akan lari.

Based on bad experiences before,rata-rata,berpewatakan baik,sopan,islamik.I didn't expect anything pun.But lama-lama,ada juga yang tak kena.It's not that i can't accept weaknesses.I pun ada weakness,no doubt.But benda yang tak kena tu selalunya,terlalu SANGAT TAK KENA!Sampai ada yang ugut bunuh.I know dia tak maksudkannya.But sangatlah tak logik akal kalau nak dibandingkan dengan outer look diorang.





(Imagine this freak is the one who knock your door.Would you open?)

Yes,i'm traumatized.Sampai nak doa pada Allah tentang jodoh pun i takut-takut.I know i shouldn't have any doubt towards Allah,but...........i just don't wanna go through this pain again.Please.And because of this,i become extremely fussy in choosing jodoh.I never become this cerewet before.